YOUR pregnancy?

Who of us loves unsolicited comments and/or advice?

Well, worse then getting married or buying a car, get knocked up and your just asking for it. 

I tried to explain to M that since announcing my pregnancy, I have gotten more unusual questions, and unwanted comments to fill a book, let alone this meager blog.

Common examples:

"Do your boobs hurt?"

"How long until you need new bras"

"Is your 'va-jay-jay' swollen?"

"You know EVERYTHING (points south) is going to look different afterwards."

I shit you not

Oddly enough, my worst and most sensitive topic has not been my rack or nether regions, but my belly. 

According to two gals in my office I'm having twins. 

(needless to say, they have not been invited to my blog.)

But because I'm in a perma-emotional state, I do feel the need to justify/vindicate myself. 

Point #1:

Twins dont run in my family and if I was pack'n more than one eggy in there, I think I would know by now - for if nothing more than the fact that it took me forever and a day to get a positive pregnancy test. Had there been two in there, there would have been twice as much hormones for the piss stick to pick up, ie: positive test sooner.

#2

I have known from about the age of eight that pregnancy was what my body was meant to do. Not just in the metaphoric "all women are designed to..." kind of way, but that mine specifically was going to be good for carrying a baby. (when you develop what could be called "birthing hips" - the kind that knock stuff over in stores and get caught on wall corners - during pre-pubescence, your hope is that they'll come in handy somewhere down the line.) I was built to do this. 

and #3

I have always been on the smaller side, (apart from my winged out hip bones) I dont have that big of a frame, and pre baby I was not carrying more than what was needed on my body. 

Had I been hauling some extra baggage (gals in my office *cough cough*), and I gained three pounds, no one would be the wiser. But because my body was starting from scratch, it IS more noticeable when my body changes. 

I haven't gained weight, I've gained a baby.

All that being said, when some one feels the need to let me know that I'm showing MUCH sooner then they did with their pregnancy, I have come to taking the very unchristian approach of looking them up and down and stating the simple fact :

 "Thats because I wasn't a heffer beforehand"