Work'n it.

We attend a highly conservative church in Vancouver Washington.

And if you happened to be among the attendees this morning you would have noticed that my beloved and I made for a quick exit after the service, but each for our own reasons. M has been battling a cold for the past few days (I told him he was not allowed to get sick until all of our children were over the age of 10 and 1/2, but there's nothing like final projects to blow an idea like health or rest out of the water) and I was fine leaving with out much time for conversation. 

My reason being that over the last two Sundays I have been approached by two different ladies, each with the same motivation. 

I will give you the back story.

I was not born a Presbyterian (although the Lord seems focused on having me die as one even if it kills me) I married in. This was a strange and, well, strange world to me when I first entered. And although I have come to accept a good load of their thoughts and teachings as my own, a few things I have gathered about their application to myself and M and I's marriage is this: Michael and I did not court properly, marry in a time frame chosen by others; and even before becoming pregnant, did not start a family correctly.  

Now I would need enough blogs to fill the library of Congress to explain the first two, but I will try and break down the last on for you. 

Because M and I chose to have a marriage before starting a family opposed to using the 'immaculate contraception' favored by many in our congregation, we were already rock'n the family dynamic boat. This being to the point that when one of Michael's sisters posted on her Myspace that she was going to be an aunt, that about half her friends list called his other sister, who had married a month before, to congratulate her. 

Although my inner decorum (and my husband) restrain me, I still have an over whelming desire to pole the members of Westminster Presbyterian Church to see exactly why they had given up on me ever conceiving. Was it because they though that no one could have really waited this long, I must be barren. Or, the one my mind favors the most: that its bad enough that I haven't had a baby yet, but GOD FORBID that I do get pregnant while I'm still working. 

Oh yeah, there it is. 

If not an outcast, I am most certainly an outsider in our church body for having a vagina and (dun dun dun) working. Its just not done by the ladies in our congregation. I have yet to come to a conclusion though, of whether or not that the women are not allowed to work, or that their husbands aren't allowed to ask it of them.... but the fact of the matter is that for the fact that I hold down a full time position (and damn well too if you ask me) has been a point of disrespect for my husband an a dislike of me.

So - 

The line of questioning that I have ran into Sunday mornings has on the whole been something like this:

"So, how are you feeling Nicole?"

"mmhmm, and are you still working?"

"Really? Full time?"

"and tell me dear, what do you plan on doing after?"    --there it is ;)

Now, for your reading entertainment I will lay out the response that I have devised should I (once I am) asked this yet again-

"Oh you know I'm feeling much better, thank you."

"Yes I am still working." "Yes, yes, still full time."

"Oh you know I am so glad you asked -because I can tell that you truly do care, and aren't asking out of  your sinful need for gossip. Well, I do know I will have quite a bit more on my plate after out lil one is here 

(pause to smile, giggle, or whatever fits the moment). 

So I have been thinking that I might look into picking up a night shift close to our house. 

Yeah, you know there is a real classy place just down the street called the Acropolis - and you know, I've always LOVED dancing.

Oh, now, I know what your thinking! But I guess I would just have to wear a corset for the first few months. And maybe after that point I will be making enough to only have to work a few nights a week.

Oh, but I would still find some teenager to watch the kid most nights so I could still go out. Because I'm sure you know, that I just hate the idea of taking care of my own family and home.

What can I say? I'm just a CARRIER WOMEN."

(big smiles)

"Oh you have to get going?"

"Well my dear, may He bless your week!"

Well there it is.

Now, you church lady. Yeah you with the hair back so tight it looks like there's a 100mph wind in here and you're the only one that feels it - 

I'm not scared of you 

and I'll be waiting by the coffee table seven days from now, should you wish to be my next curios victim...