Threshold

So yesterday while waxing my legs I contemplated my threshold for pain. 

I wouldnt say that I'm a wuss for the fact that I can rip the hair out of my own skin, and I have a fairly good sized image of ink on my ribs, but having a child rip through me - hmmm. 

I've heard it called "the ring of fire" and that its the closest feeling you can get to being turned inside out - but I wonder if its one of those things that gets worked up a bit. Like when I went to get my blood drawn, I knew it wasnt going to HURT but my breathing quickened, and I got a bit uneasy. 

Now- dont get me wrong, I know its going to be unlike anything I've ever experienced - but there are plenty of women that have gone back for round 2, 3, 4, +, so thats got to be a positive testament (although I've heard that after the fourth one they walk out by themselves). 

Total side bar - My midwives have stickers all over their office that simply say "Keggels" and it makes me remember (not to do the exercise, unfortunately) that when I started down the road of wanting ot have a baby, my first question was not a question of the pain involved but if "things go back to normal?" and for the answer to this I sought out my Father in law. No one was getting my insinuations, so I came out and asked if sex after your wife had your children was ever like "throwing a hotdog down a hallway"??? To the ease of my heart, it was emphatically - NO.     Shall we continue - 

Shortly after I finish here with you today I will be moving on in my cyber explorings in search of birthing classes. The one I am mostly interested in is called "Birthing from Within." It was developed by a midwife with decades of experience in working with women birthing naturally and (from what I can obtain about it thus far) it is an approach that focuses on birthing with your body and not your mind. Sounds weird, I know, but for someone like myself that could overanalyze the flavor out of tabasco sauce, I think it will be very helpful. To be taught to work with your body, feel with your body, and have the tools to respond to those feelings - opposed to trying to think your way out of a situation makes sense to me. (There I go thinking again)

That mass of beautiful babyness is come'n out one way or another and you thinking you can rationalize any of it is going to help no one. Your logic is no good here. In fact, its not welcome. 

Classes would be at the last two months of this Placenta Party,  so I'll let you know how those go. As for the act of birthing itself, either way I'll be keeping that to myself.

My sisters read this blog and I would like to be an aunt someday....